My Journey home: Why it took this long...
Mixed emotions...thats what. Excitement, Expectation, Anticipation, Anxiety, Fear, Worry, Cluelessness, Curiosity, Wonder, Confirmation, Stress, Closure, Gratitude, Accomplishment, Triumphant, Victorious.
It's been seven and a half years. That's as long as my PTP career was in the Philippines. That's a helluva long time. That's how the Lord wanted it. I know it in my heart. It took around 7 years for Him to completely shake me off my 'worldliness'. All that baggage I've carried throughout my life. The demons that have taken refuge in me. Familiar spirits that have kept me company in my darkness.
They're gone now. For the moment and hopefully permanently. Or under control...
My home country is my Egypt. It is where I was bound to my wickedness and shameful life. Bondage and Slavery. Very heavy words. Bound to a life not worth talking about except to witness to others and enslaved to the sins of the world.
The US became my place of passage to the Promised Land. It the Israelites 40 years to get to a destination that would've only taken them three days had they kept their focus on God and not on their selfish desires and distractions. I've been distracted my whole life till 2 years ago. I've had these little familiar and generational and territorial little demons hovering over me and it took all of 7 years to shake them off. At least, t's encouraging to think I did it sooner than 40 years.
I believe the Lord directed my life this way so that I dont go home vulnerable and unprepared to face my old stomping ground. He made sure I was spiritually strong enough to resist temptation. I know I already have. My best friend is already ecstatic about my visit and said "my redhorse is waiting for me." I didnt feel any tingling sensation. In fact, I all of a sudden remembered that pungent taste on my taste buds and it was repelling. I replied saying, " I dont drink anymore. Im fine drinking OJ." I didnt have to force myself to do that. Thats just how it is these days. Straight edge. The line has been drawn.
It has something to do with the fact that this year I started to hear the Lord's voice more clearly in my life. It started in the Azusa Centennial last April where the HS was poured out onto us during the week long celebration at the LA Convention Center. My life has never been the same ever since. I liken it to ACTS 2: where Jesus commanded his disciples (who were then scattered and scared after Jesus died) to wait in Jerusalem until the Gift from the Father has come to fill them. LA is MY Jerusalem. Where I waited to be filled by the Spirit. Seven years, the Lord's number, was the magic number for when I got this infilling. He has since revealed to me his plan and purpose for my life. The fire has been ignited within me. Now, I need to keep it burning.
It was as if the Lord said to me, "Lei, you can't go home yet." You're not ready. Its not time. I dont want you to go back there and just fall back into the usual mold. I raised you up as a my Child. To stand up for me..."
To be continued. Im really sleepy right now
It's been seven and a half years. That's as long as my PTP career was in the Philippines. That's a helluva long time. That's how the Lord wanted it. I know it in my heart. It took around 7 years for Him to completely shake me off my 'worldliness'. All that baggage I've carried throughout my life. The demons that have taken refuge in me. Familiar spirits that have kept me company in my darkness.
They're gone now. For the moment and hopefully permanently. Or under control...
My home country is my Egypt. It is where I was bound to my wickedness and shameful life. Bondage and Slavery. Very heavy words. Bound to a life not worth talking about except to witness to others and enslaved to the sins of the world.
The US became my place of passage to the Promised Land. It the Israelites 40 years to get to a destination that would've only taken them three days had they kept their focus on God and not on their selfish desires and distractions. I've been distracted my whole life till 2 years ago. I've had these little familiar and generational and territorial little demons hovering over me and it took all of 7 years to shake them off. At least, t's encouraging to think I did it sooner than 40 years.
I believe the Lord directed my life this way so that I dont go home vulnerable and unprepared to face my old stomping ground. He made sure I was spiritually strong enough to resist temptation. I know I already have. My best friend is already ecstatic about my visit and said "my redhorse is waiting for me." I didnt feel any tingling sensation. In fact, I all of a sudden remembered that pungent taste on my taste buds and it was repelling. I replied saying, " I dont drink anymore. Im fine drinking OJ." I didnt have to force myself to do that. Thats just how it is these days. Straight edge. The line has been drawn.
It has something to do with the fact that this year I started to hear the Lord's voice more clearly in my life. It started in the Azusa Centennial last April where the HS was poured out onto us during the week long celebration at the LA Convention Center. My life has never been the same ever since. I liken it to ACTS 2: where Jesus commanded his disciples (who were then scattered and scared after Jesus died) to wait in Jerusalem until the Gift from the Father has come to fill them. LA is MY Jerusalem. Where I waited to be filled by the Spirit. Seven years, the Lord's number, was the magic number for when I got this infilling. He has since revealed to me his plan and purpose for my life. The fire has been ignited within me. Now, I need to keep it burning.
It was as if the Lord said to me, "Lei, you can't go home yet." You're not ready. Its not time. I dont want you to go back there and just fall back into the usual mold. I raised you up as a my Child. To stand up for me..."
To be continued. Im really sleepy right now
posted by Lei Bautista | 12:58 AM
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